When you think of eloping, it’s easy to picture just two people running off. But to make it magical and picture-perfect, we had a small team that almost felt like a production: a dressmaker, a photographer, a videographer, a makeup artist, and a kind-hearted palace butler who called me Yenge¹.

The palace opened onto a breathtaking view of the Bosphorus; the air was that crisp, golden September kind of perfect. Everything unfolded exactly as we hoped: the cake arrived on time and was exactly what we dreamed of.

We wanted a small cake, almost like the size of a traditional cake topper, partly for the simple aesthetic and partly because I had read that in some cultures, sharing a small cake symbolizes good luck and togetherness. Finding something that simple, with just a touch of gold and flowers on top, turned out to be surprisingly difficult. The cake makers wanted to charge hundreds of dollars, which didn’t feel right for the mini cake we envisioned. Thankfully, my husband tapped into one of his local connections, and we ended up with the perfect cake that was simple and elegant (as a gift).

The makeup was flawless, and for those few enchanting hours, everything felt light, beautiful, almost cinematic.

But the weeks before told a different story.

The dress was custom-made, though it wasn’t quite what we needed because I couldn’t move freely. The makeup trial was harder than I expected. I didn’t even recognize the girl in the mirror afterwards, since many brides there prefer a very overdone look and I usually wear very little makeup. After the trial, the stress overwhelmed me and I had a full-blown panic attack. Doing all of this planning in a foreign country added a layer of unpredictability that kept me awake at night.

Yet when the day finally came, it all felt effortless. It was as if every little chaos existed just to make that calm more vivid.

Eloping sounds simple, but a lot of the same details go into planning as for a full-blown wedding. You still need a venue, a dress, the right shoes, flowers, champagne, and the people who bring it all together. We handled the legal side beforehand, though if you do not, you will also need someone to marry you on the day.

Despite the planning, the panic, and the moments of doubt, we would not change a thing.

In this post, I will share the tips and tricks we learned to help make your elopement day feel just as magical and effortless.

The Language Barrier and Cultural Curveballs

The language barrier is very real. My husband is Turkish and speaks English well, but having to rely on someone to translate constantly was exhausting. Unless one of you speaks the local language, getting help is essential. A travel advisor or wedding planner who knows the area can arrange these details smoothly. If you want to keep costs low, make sure your vendors speak your language.

The culture shock was another important factor for us. His family is Turkish, mine is American, and visa issues meant not everyone could travel between Turkey and the U.S. To avoid leaving anyone out, we decided to just elope—just the two of us. We initially planned a wedding reception, but in Turkey, the concept does not translate the same way. You either have a wedding or you do not, usually with traditional events beforehand like a henna party. When we suggested a small reception, everyone wanted to rent a venue and go all out with dancing and celebration.

For us, marriage is about two people, and we wanted to honor that by keeping it simple. We did have a kız isteme (asking for the bride’s hand) coffee ceremony with my parents there. But everything else happened in a different order than expected. We got legally married first, he proposed in Montenegro, then had the kız isteme in Turkey, flew to Paris to meet some of the in-laws on my side, enjoyed our honeymoon in South Korea and Japan, and finally had our elopement when we realized arranging a full wedding was too complicated. We will even have a second honeymoon in South Africa this month since it now feels official and we want to celebrate again; because why not?

After all, part of the reason to elope was to spend more money on the things we love. Neither of us are crowd people, so instead we prefer to meet with our friends and family in small groups or one-on-one.

Keep the Legal Stuff Simple

My biggest advice is to get legally married in your own country. Planning the legal side of things abroad adds a mountain of logistics and stress. A friend of mine, an American who married an Italian in Zanzibar, had to send original documents back and forth when they needed a marriage certificate—and they had to hope it did not get lost along the way.

Keep this simple. Marry legally at home, then have your symbolic wedding abroad, wherever you dream.

Be Clear: No One Can Read Your Mind

One of the biggest lessons we learned is not to expect anyone to read your mind. For example, at my last dress fitting, I found I couldn’t even sit down properly. I wanted a fitted dress with a train, but its inflexibility created a major problem. I just assumed the dressmaker would fix it, but he couldn’t read my mind. In the end, we made a second, more flexible dress for moving around and used the first dress with the train for the larger shots.

Planning an elopement can feel simple and inexpensive, but it can quickly turn into an expensive and dramatic event if you don’t stay focused. There are thousands of styles for dresses, cakes, venues, and more, so being specific is key. Pictures help a lot. We relied heavily on Pinterest to narrow down and communicate exactly what we wanted. Try to choose a style and stick to it, because it’s easy to get distracted by too many ideas and end up with a mix that doesn’t quite work together.

Go With the Flow on the Big Day

Some of the best moments happen when you let go of the plan a little. My husband spotted a huge bouquet in the palace and just asked if we could use it. That meant extra flowers, at no extra cost, which added a beautiful touch we hadn’t planned for.

For timing, make sure someone keeps track of the clock. Don’t rush your makeup and hair artist; give them extra time if needed. Lighting is also important, so try not to spend too long in one spot and move where the light works best. Your photographers will usually guide you here.

Speaking of photographers, mine spoke Turkish, but since I only know a little Turkish I had to guess a lot of what they wanted. My husband translated sometimes, but the miscommunications made for plenty of laughs and some of the most genuine smiley shots we got.

Why the Hotel Matters (And Why You Should Splurge)

One of the things we loved about our elopement was finishing at sunset. This gave us the whole night to bask in the afterglow of love back at our hotel. The hotel made a big difference with its stand-alone bathtub and cozy outdoor fireplace.

Splurge on your hotel if you can. A travel advisor can help you find the perfect spot and even get you VIP treatment, making your whole experience more special and relaxed.

Managing Stress and Finding Your People

I almost canceled the whole thing five or six times due to stress. We made a point to have date nights and even took a mini staycation in the middle of planning to decompress.

Vendors were tricky. We leaned heavily on my husband’s local connections, which helped a lot. If you can, have someone from the area or someone who knows the local scene with you—it makes a big difference.

Be prepared for wedding prices to be significantly higher than usual for everything, from nails to makeup. Don’t mention “wedding” if you want a simple look. People tend to go over the top. Find natural makeup examples on Pinterest, show them to your artist, and do a trial run to avoid surprises.

Prioritize What Truly Matters

I chose to wear used shoes for the wedding. It is not a popular choice, but I knew they fit well and I would be comfortable. I tried on over 50 pairs of wedding shoes and knew I would suffer if I picked anything else. At one point, shoes were a big priority for me, but then I realized I did not really care—they mostly went unseen unless I wanted to show them off. So my advice is to prioritize what really matters to you and let go of the rest.

Make It Yours

My husband’s best advice: do not let your elopement feel like a duty. Enjoy it and feel free. Get inspired by others, but be creative and stay true to yourself. You cannot feel special if you are checking off a list of musts.

Take vows, for example. Everyone seems to expect you to read vows aloud, but we did not want to do that in front of anyone. We just wanted to be with each other: authentic and genuine. For us, it was a symbolic moment looking to the future, but mostly it was just fun to be together and smile. Plus, having the photographer tell us to kiss 6,000 times made it all feel lighthearted.

What to Remember on The Day

Let it all go on the day of. You prepared, stressed, and planned. Now enjoy.

Eat a good, healthy breakfast. We had a Turkish-style breakfast with eggs, olives, cucumber, and fresh bread to fuel our day.

When doing makeup, eat first and brush your teeth before starting. We had too long a wait between breakfast and the rest, so I ended up snacking in the middle, which made things tricky for the makeup artist.

Have a small, reliable team with you. We had a dressmaker, makeup artist, palace butler, photographer, and videographer, so we were able to keep track of timing and help things run smoothly. Make sure someone helps with little details like chilling champagne, bringing coffee, and feeding helpers. For the food, be sure to have healthy options and not just carb load everyone... We had a hot meal prepared for everyone at the palace, but if you have a venue that doesn't allow for this, just be sure to have some hearty snacks suitable for everyone (ask for dietary restrictions before)

Give yourself enough time. We had three months from the dress order to the big day, and I traveled abroad in between. If you are picky about clothes or accessories, order early, so you do not get rushed last minute.

Why a Travel Advisor Makes It Better

Eloping abroad is full of beautiful moments and unexpected challenges. A travel advisor who knows the destination inside and out can handle the logistics, local connections, and accommodation details so you can breathe easy before and after the elopement. From VIP hotel upgrades to finding trusted vendors who speak your language, having someone in your corner takes the stress off your shoulders and makes your day truly effortless.

As a travel advisor with worldwide booking experience, I don’t plan elopements or weddings specifically, but I specialize in finding perfect hotels and honeymoon destinations that make your celebration even more magical. If you want help creating an unforgettable stay and post-wedding escape, reach out.

1. In Turkish culture, “yenge” literally means aunt, but it’s used for a man’s wife. Many people who know you well call your husband “abi” (brother) out of respect, and then they call you “yenge” as a way of saying you’re part of the family. This applies to both Turkish and foreign brides.

Let it all go on the day of. You prepared, stressed, and planned. Now enjoy.